Tell Him I Died
by allienicole16
Summary: Buffy and Spike are living this great life till a break up, a death and tragedy ruin everything. If you read please review. This is based on a dream.
1. Prologue

**Authors Note:** **This is one of the first stories that I wrote. It's really old and it's all based off of a dream that I had my sophmore year of high school. So i wrote it and it was posted at spuffycentral before the big deletion. Now it's going to FINALLY be posted again on here. So enjoy. I have the whole thing on my computer so i should be able to get a lot of it up before i have to go to class and then the rest up after class. **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing!**

* * *

Prologue:

"I swear I knew the first day I looked at him...I knew he was the one." Buffy Summers told her mom was she was packing the last of her things.

"Well honey he seems nice and he treats you well. I'm glad you're happy honey." Joyce told her daughter.

"Oi, love you done with the rest of it 'cause we have to go?" William 'Spike' Giles yelled to his girlfriend.

"Yep, want me to bring it to you?"

"Nope," Spike said as he appeared in the doorway, "I got it."

"Thanks baby." Buffy said as she leaned up and kissed him.

"Mother is still present you two."

"Oh sorry mom."

"Sorry Mrs. Summers."

"Nonsense Spike call me Joyce."

"Yes, Joyce."

"Now I'll go downstairs, remember dinner tomorrow." Joyce said as she got up and hugged Buffy.

"Yeah mom, I love you."

"Love you too...and Spike you take care of my little girl." She said as she hugged him.

"Yes Joyce...no worries she's safe with me." He said as she pulled away.

"I know. See ya kids." Buffy walked over to spike and slipped into his arms.

"This is it Spike."

"What's it love?"

"This is the start of our journey together." Spike hugged her and kissed the top of her head.

"That it is love...that it is."


	2. Chapter One

Chapter One:

"Last box Buffy." Xander Harris, Spike's best friend, said.

"Thanks Xander...where's willow?" Buffy said.

"Here." Willow Rosenberg, Buffy's best friend, said as she set the box down.

"Thanks Will."

"No problem...where's Spike?"

"Getting lunch...pizza I think."

"Sweet...what's he supposed to get back?" Xander asked.

"Soon," just as Buffy said this Spike's Black Desoto pulled up, "Or now."

A few minutes later Spike walked in. "Ello all...I come bearing lunch." Spike said.

"Hey man, I'm hungry as hell." Xander said.

"Well no one gets food till Milady kisses me for being her loving servant."

"Spike," Buffy said as she kissed him, "I'll show you servant later if you like." She said under her breath. Spike looked at her curiously as she winked and began to walk away. Spike handed the food to Xander who, with Willow, went into the kitchen.

"Oh no you don't," Spike said as he grabbed her hips and crushed her to him. "If Willow and Xander weren't here I'd make you MY servant." Spike purred in her ear. Buffy began to quiver from his breath on her ear and his voice full of need. She reluctantly pulled away, smiled and went to eat. Spike laughed and did the same.

* * *

The afternoon consisted of unpacking, talking, hooking things up and watching a movie. "Thanks you Willow." Buffy said.

"Aw it was no trouble I had fun, but I have to go Oz is waiting up for me."

"Ok bye."

"See ya Red." Spike said as Willow walked out.

"I should be going too." Xander said as he walked to the door.

"Ok well thank you Xander."

"No problem, see ya guys."

"Bye Xander."

"Bye Mate." As soon as Spike shut the door he looked at Buffy.

"What?"

"Wasn't there some mention of being a servant?"

"Hmm...Nope don't remember." Buffy said.

"Oh really?" Spike said with a devious smile. He pushed her up against the wall and crushed his lips to hers. When breathing became and issue he pulled away and began kissing her neck. Buffy decided to be mean. She started to kick and bite his neck. Spike growled. "You vixen."

"Who me?"

"Yes, you."

"I didn't do anything."

"Oh really...then what do you call this?" Spike said as he took her hand.

"I would call that something you'll have to deal with." Buffy said smiling.

"That's it." Spike said as he picked her up and threw her over his shoulder and carried her to THEIR bedroom.


	3. Chapter Two

Chapter 2

Buffy had went to college and gotten her associates degree in Journalism. Spike had gotten a degree in computer graphics. Both had pretty good jobs. Buffy worked for the magazine "Teen People", as an advice columnist. Spike had a job making strategy guides and trying out new games till he gets a break into designing games. They had been together for 6 years. Spike is 4 years older than Buffy. They started dating when Buffy was 16 and Spike was 20. Now they are 26 and 22, and Spike is considering popping the question. "Xander, I just…I love her so much. What if she says no."

"She won't Spike."

"How do you know?"

"Because when I see you two you're both so happy…it's almost sickening."

"Thanks mate."

"WILLIAM GILES!" Spike and Xander's boss screamed from his office.

"Yes, sir?"

"Report to my office," With that he shut the door.

"Bloody ponce."

"Good luck man."

"What?"

"Heard he's been firing everyone today."

"Bloody hell." Spike said looking at the ceiling, and then he smiled at Xander and entered the office.

–Knock-

"Come in William." His boss said as he walked in and shut the door.

"Its Spike remember?"

"Oh yes, Spike, sit down we need to talk." Spike sat down a little worried. "I have a little adventure for you."

"What is it, Angel?"

"Well I need you to test a video game specifically designed for girls, I mean its right up your alley. It's about a girl who loves one guy, but another swoops in and steals her." Angel O'Connor said.

"I never stole Buffy from you….you ponce."

"Sure."

"She came to me. Maybe if you hadn't cheated on her with my ex this never would have happened."

"And you wouldn't be working for me would you?" Spike got quiet. "Plus what's it really matter…Buffy was a whore to begin with."

Before Angel even had a chance to react Spike flew up and punched him in the nose. ""You asshole you punched me in the nose."

"Talk about my girlfriend that way again and you'll be sorry you stupid son of a bitch."

"I think you broke my nose."

"Good." Angel looked at him.

"You're fired. Pack your things and get out in 10 minutes or I'll call security."

"I'll be out in less than 5, oh and for the record Buffy never slept around when she was with you. Yet you did, so that must make you the whore."

"GET OUT!!!" Spike walked out of his office, packed his things and left.


	4. Chapter Three

Chapter 3

"I knew I never should have let you work for Angel." Buffy said as she cleaned up Spike's knuckles.

"It's alright love."

Buffy had come home to find Spike had cleaned the house, and made dinner, but had not cleaned his hand.

"Well I'm still curious how this happened."

"He called you a whore. I got mad and I hit him."

Buffy looked up at Spike's loving eyes. "Oh…thank you."

"You're welcome pet."

Buffy finished the bandage and kissed his hand.

"All better…you didn't have to hit him." Buffy said as she sat in his lap.

"I know, but it seemed the manliest thing to do at the time…plus I love you too much to hear him talk lies about you." Buffy kissed him passionately with all the love she had for him. "I love you…you know that?"

"Yes love, um Buffy there's something I've been needing to ask you."

"What is it?"

"Well…"

–Knock-

"Oh hold on a sec." Buffy said jumping up to answer the door.

"Bloody hell," Spike said as she got up.

"Oh hey Xander," Buffy said when she opened the door.

"Hey Buffy…is Spike around?"

"Yes his grumpiness is over there."

"I'm not grumpy." Spike said.

"I know honey." She said as she kissed him and walked into the kitchen.

"So um…Spike," Xander said, "Angel told me what happened…then Harmony told me the truth."

"Yeah so,"

"Well I was just curious if you were ok."

"Yeah mate. Are you hungry? We're eating soon."

"No Anya is at home."

"Oh when she get back?"

"This morning," Xander said with a smile on his face.

"Oh I see."

"Ok well see ya." Xander then closed the door and left. Spike got up and walked to Buffy. He wrapped his arms around her.

"I love you baby."

"I love you too Spike." Buffy said leaning on him. "What'd you need to ask me?"

"Oh nothing love, it isn't important. Not now."

"Ok"


	5. Chapter Four

Chapter 4

"Buffy Summers?"

"Yes, what can I do for you?" Buffy said as a woman came to her desk.

"Oh My God, don't you recognize me?"

"Um no sorry, I don't." Buffy said as she studied the woman.

"Oh well that just sucks… I mean I dated your friend for what a year and you don't even…"

"Cordelia?"

"Oh well you do remember me."

"Oh my…how long has it been?"

"Years….god it's been so long…how are you?"

"I'm good…do you remember Spike?"

"Yeah…how is he anyway…I wonder if he's single…he was always so cute."

"Well I know for a fact that he isn't… he's my boyfriend."

"What you two are still together?"

"Yep…and I'm still as happy as I was the day he asked me out."

"Wow…well that's awesome Buffy."

"Miss Chase," Buffy's boss said as she came over to Cordelia.

"Yes?"

"You're needed for the shoot."

"Oh yes…Buffy it's been great catching up…here's my number…call me we'll do lunch."

"Ok…nice to see you too Cordy." Buffy said as she took the card and Cordelia walked away. 'Like I'll ever call her.' Buffy thought to herself. Then she glanced back at the card and threw it in her purse. 'Maybe I will actually.'

* * *

"Spike I'm home." Buffy said as she walked in and hung her coat and purse up. "Spike, where are you?" She said as she walked into the living room. She looked in and saw him sleeping on the couch. "Spike wake up." Buffy said while pushing his arm.

"Give me 10 more minutes love."

"No there will be no 10 more minutes. Spike did you even trying looking for a job today?"

"Yes…well maybe…possibly…no I didn't." Spike said as he sat up. He gave her an innocent smile.

"Spike that isn't gonna work on me this time. You've been unemployed for a month now and all you do is sit on your lazy ass and sleep or when I get home you offer up sex. Spike I'm sick of this…you need a new job…we need the money."

"What do you mean offer up sex? I know I need a new job and I've been looking. So get off my case you bloody bint."

"What did you just call me? Spike I'm tired of this. You yell at me like it's my fault you got fired in the first place."

"BECAUSE IT KIND OF IS!" Spike said as he got up and screamed at her.

Buffy looked at him. "What?"

"You heard me…you're the reason I got fired…you went out with the bastard not me. And he talked shit about YOU and I got fired because I loved you and I didn't want him saying that shit about you."

"You loved me?"

"What?"

"You just said because I loved you."

"No I didn't."

"Yea you did. Do you not love me anymore Spike?"

Spike got quiet and looked at the floor.

"Oh my god," Buffy said as the tears started coming and she covered her mouth.

"No Buffy I love you I just don't know what's going on…I'm so confused."

"No save it. I'm leaving."

"No Buffy don't go." He ran and grabbed her shoulders. "Please baby I love you." She shoved him off and went in their room and slammed the door. Spike stared at the door till it opened again. This time Buffy had two suitcases. "Baby please don't go."

"No Spike you said it yourself. It's my fault I got you fired and you don't love me anymore. Well that's fine…I'm gone." Buffy said as she got her coat and her keys.

"Buffy please wait."

"No Spike," She said with her head down, "I gave you 6 years of my life…I've loved you ever since I met you. I will continue to love you till the day I die. But you have other priorities. And they don't include me. Goodbye…William." She said as she opened the door and left.

"Buffy." Spike said as he fell to his knees and cried.


	6. Chapter Five

Chapter 5 

**-Ding Dong-**

"I got it." Willow screamed when she heard the doorbell ring. She opened it to find a wet soggy, crying Buffy on the other side of it. "Buffy? Is that you?"

"Hey Willow…can I come in?"

"Yea sure come in come in. You're all wet. Here sit here I'll go get you a blanket. OZ!" Willow said as she ran around.

"Yea baby…oh hey Buffy." Oz said as he walked in the room.

"Oz, can you go make some hot chocolate for Buffy please?"

"Ok yea sure." Oz said as he walked into the kitchen.

Willow came back a couple seconds later with a blanket.

"Buffy what's wrong? Why aren't you at home with Spike?"

"Spike and I…we broke up…we had a fight and he said something and I left."

"Oh my goddess…are you ok?"

"No…Willow I love him so much."

"Oh Buffy I'm so sorry." Willow said as she held Buffy while she cried. Oz came in a little later, and gave Buffy the hot chocolate then excused himself. He didn't want to interrupt their girl time.

* * *

After some much needed crying and hot chocolate and Oz's trip out to the car for Buffy's suitcases, it was decided that Buffy was going to be spending the night at their house till she could get an apartment of her own. Buffy thanked them and Willow went to bed. 'God Spike why are you such an idiot.' Buffy thought to herself as she cried herself to sleep.

* * *

"So it's really over?" Xander said. He had come over a little while ago to find Buffy's car missing, no Buffy, and a crying Spike on the floor by the door.

"Yea mate she's really gone."

"I'm sorry man. What happened?"

"I fucked up. I said that I loved her and I meant in a past tense sort of way. Or well that's how it sounded at least and she just left."

"Oh…does this have to do with you not getting a job yet?"

"Yea that's what started it all."

"Spike you have to admit you weren't looking very hard. Hell you got offered a job with Pixar and you declined because you were depressed. Dude…you basically showed her to the nearest singles bar, gave her money and told her to have a good time."

"I know…god dam nit…I really fucked up this time didn't I?"

"Yea I think you did buddy."

"You think she'll ever come back?"

"I don't know man…I have no idea."


	7. Chapter Six

Chapter 6 

"So Buffy what do you want to do tonight? Since being newly single I thought you could come with me to some really fabulous singles clubs."

"Sure Cordy." Buffy said into the phone.

Buffy had caved. She saw Cordelia's number in her purse and she's instantly called her. . However now Buffy was beginning to realize the real reason she never really hung out with this girl in high school.

"Ok great it's on Jefferson."

"Ok I'll meet you there at 8?"

"Ok cool see ya."

Buffy hung up the phone and placed her head on her desk.

"Buffy?" Buffy's boss, Tara, said as she walked over to Buffy's office.

"Yes?"

"Are you ok? You…you…um…you seem a little out of it."

"No it's nothing I'm ok sorry."

"No I don't mean to yell or be mean if I am being. I just wanted to make sure you were ok."

"Yes I'm fine. Thank you though."

"No…no problem." She said as she walked away. 'Ok time for more work and less thinking about him.' Buffy told herself. She stared at her pile of papers and slammed her head down again. 'It's no use.'

* * *

"Hey Spike." Xander said as he walked in the door of Spike's house.

"Hey mate…good news. I got a job."

"Really where?"

"Pixar…they really liked my work…and they want me on the team so…I said hell yea."

"Cool man."

"But I take it that's not why you're here."

"No my friend it isn't."

"What is then? Is it Buffy?"

"Well actually it is. Willow, Oz, Anya and I all went to dinner and Willow told me that Buffy moved out last week."

"Oh…"

"Spike it's been 3 months since you guys broke up. You knew she was going to find a new place."

"Yea I know…I just wish her new place was her old place…with me."

"Hey man I told you a couple months ago…she still loves you…it's written all over her face. She hasn't seen any other men since you and according to Willow she use to dream about you."

"I know you told me all this before. I just wish…I wish I hadn't said what I said."

"Yea I know man…I know."

* * *

"Hey Buffy." Cordelia said as she walked up to Buffy.

"Hey there Cordy."

"Ready to go shake your groove thing?"

"Cordy…no one says that anymore."

"Oh…opps…lets go." She said as she dragged Buffy into the club. It was big. And there was a live band playing. It actually reminded Buffy of the bronze. 'Where we first met…' Buffy thought to herself.

_-Flashback- _

"_I cant believe this. 'Hey Buffy…um you've met Drusilla before right?' God I was so stupid." Buffy said as she slammed her head on the table. _

"_You alright there love." Buffy looked up towards the direction that the voice was coming from. She then saw the most beautiful man she'd ever seen in her life. 'Damn.' "Yea I'm ok." She said as she looked at him. 'God those eyes.' _

"_Well it doesn't look like it to me…why were you pounding your head on the table just now?" _

"_Oh it's nothing really." _

"_Really?" _

"_No…I just caught my boyfriend with another girl, His lab partner to be exact." _

"_Oh I'm sorry love." _

"_It's not your fault." "I know but I hate seeing a beautiful girl sad and crying. What's the whelps name love?" _

"_Angel…Angel O'Connor." _

"_Well I'll go tell this Angel and his mistress that they are bloody idiots for hurting such a beautiful girl…and I'll even kick his ass for you ok?" _

"_Ok…oh my name's Buffy…Buffy summers." _

"_Names William Giles…but you can call me Spike." _

"_Ok…what's with the nickname?" _

"_It's a name from my girlfriend." _

'_Damn he's taken.' "Awe…she must be special then." _

"_Yea she really is…her name is Drusilla Kensington." _

'_Drusilla…' "Um does she go to Sunnydale high school by any chance?" _

"_Yes as a matter a fact she does…why do you know her?" _

"_Yes I do actually…well I have to go…it's been really nice meeting you." _

"_You too Buffy Summers…take care of your self."_

–_End of flashback-_

"I need a drink." Buffy said as she headed to the bar.

* * *

"Cordelia?" Buffy said as she walked to Cordy's car. It wasn't there. "Hmm…oh well guess I'm driving home…YIPPIE!" Buffy screamed as she ran, well kind of ran and fell, to her car. She was totally and helplessly drunk. 'I can do this…I'll be fine. I only had 3 glasses' that was true but everyone knew that Buffy couldn't hold her liquor well and even one glass would make her a little tipsy. She started the car and pulled it into the street just barely missing another car. "OPPS sorry." She screamed when they honked at her. She was going 70, in a 45 area and never even saw the truck coming. 


	8. Chapter Seven

Chapter 7 

"SPIKE!" Xander screamed as he opened the door to Spike's house.

"I'm in here mate." Spike yelled from the bedroom.

"Spike you have to come with me…NOW!"

"Ok what's going on?"

"I'll fill you in on the way. We have to get there now." Xander said as he and spike ran outside to the car.

"Ok mate what's bloody well going on?"

"It's Buffy."

"What happened?" Spike said while looking at his friend's face. He knew it was something bad.

"She was in a car accident…a bad one…she's in coma." Spike looked out the window and started to cry.

"Go."

"What?"

"Go faster…I need to get there now. I need to be by her side. She needs me right now."

"Ok" Xander said as he went faster.

* * *

"Oz I have to do this for her. It was her wish." Willow said to her husband.

"I know but Spike deserves to know that she's in coma…plus what are you going to tell Xander."

"No you're going to take Xander to Buffy's room and stay there. I'll tell Spike. Buffy still loves him…and she said that if she ever went into coma she wanted us to tell him that she was dead so that he didn't waste his life waiting for her wake up when there was a huge chance that she never would again."

"Fine…but if this backfires it's all on your head."

"I know baby." Willow said as she kissed him.

* * *

"WILLOW." Spike said as he ran to willow. "Where is she?"

"Spike we need to talk. Xander go with Oz." Xander looked at Willow but went with Oz.

"Willow what's going on?"

"Spike…Buffy was never in a coma…her body was…well it was basically nothing…and she died Spike." Spike just stared at Willow.

"That can't be…she was fine…Xander told me she was just in a coma…oh my god…no Buffy please god no." Spike said as he fell to his knees and cried while Willow held him.

* * *


	9. Chapter Eight

Chapter 8 

Many months went by for Spike. He was lonely and he was miserable. He basically pored himself into his work and wouldn't come out of one of his 'funks' for days. Xander went to visit him a lot but didn't really get much of a response out of him. He would eat and nod his head but he wouldn't talk. He felt like a part of him was missing. The only good part he ever had in his life was taken away from him just as quickly as it came back to him. And he didn't think he would go on with out her.

There hadn't been a funeral. Willow just told Spike that she had died. But her job was still hers and so was her apartment. Spike was the only one who didn't know she was still in a coma. Willow went to check on her everyday. But still there was no change. They had moved her from a room to a type of room where people who aren't expected to wake up, stay. And Buffy was one of those they thought would never recover. But Willow went back faithfully to check on her because she loved Buffy and she knew that she just had to get better. There was no doubt in her mind. Then one day her wishes came true.

* * *

-Loud speaker-

"Paging Doctor Brown…Doctor Brown to ICU…Doctor Brown to ICU."

The hospital was quiet except for that one page, when Buffy woke up. She didn't know where she was. But she knew she was alone. Alone and in a lot of pain. She didn't really remember what had happened…why she was there. But she could have sworn that there was some reason…some purpose as to why she didn't walk into that bright light. Why that voice that sounded like Spike's kept telling her that she still had a lot to do. That it wasn't her time yet. Needless to say Buffy did the one thing she knew how to do well…she screamed. "AHHHHHHHH. WHERE THE HELL AM I… SOMEONE HELP ME!"

A nurse and a doctor came running in, all amazed that this hopeless patient had woken up. "Buffy it's me Doctor Brown. Do you remember what happened to you?"

"No. Why what happened to me? And why the hell do my legs feel like god damn jell-o?"

"Buffy you were in a horrible car accident 4 months ago that nearly killed you. You've been in a coma ever since…that's why your legs are like jell-o. But with a little physical therapy you'll be good as new."

"I was in a car accident? I didn't kill anyone did I?"

"No you didn't Miss Summers. Someone almost killed you." Buffy sat there and thought for a little while. "Your blood alcohol level was kind of high but nothing compared to the other driver. We believe he was going 75 and you were going 70 so…basically it totaled both the cars. It took the jaws of life to get you two out."

"Wow…that sounds serious. Did I have surgery?"

"Yes a minor one on your heart, to repair a few things. But everything is alright in there. Trust me. I did it myself."

"Thank you doctor."

"No problem Buffy. I'm going to call Mrs. Osborne meanwhile let this nurse take all your vitals ok?"

"Yeah sure…tell Willow I said hi."

"Will do miss summers…will do."

"Mrs. Osborne…she's woken up…yes she seems fine…she remembers you…yes and she took the accident stuff very well…well I guess I'll be seeing you in 5 minutes or less I suspect…ok goodbye." The doctor hung up the phone just as the nurse that was taking Buffy's vitals walked up to him.

"She seems to be fine Doctor. Nothing seems out of the ordinary. She wants to start physical therapy as soon as possible."

"Yes I suspected that. We're going to run a CAT scan on her tomorrow morning to see if there is any swelling, which I don't think there is."

"Yes doctor I'll go schedule it."

"Thank you."

"Doctor Brown." Willow said as she, Oz and Xander came out from the elevator.

"Mr. and Mrs. Osborne…and Mr. Harris, she's awake and alert. You may go see her if you like."

"Thank you doctor." They all said and went to see Buffy.

"Buffy." Willow said as she came in and hugged her best friend.

"Willow…god I feel like I haven't seen you in years. But it's only been like 4 months right?"

"Well for you yeah but for me I just saw you last night and every night since it happened."

"You came here every night? Wow."

"Well we didn't want you to wake up and not have anyone here." Xander chimed in.

"Xander," Buffy said as she pulled him down for a hug. "And Oz," She said as she smiled at him. She knew he wasn't a big hugger. "Where's Spike? I figured he'd be here or something?" Willow looked at Oz, Oz looked at Xander and Xander looked at Willow.

"Ok I'll tell her. But Xander I need you to find some way to lure Spike to the hospital. Ok?"

"Ok but he's in one of those moods today. Totally into this new game he's making…"

"GO!" Willow said "And take Oz too."

"Yes ma'am." Xander said as he and Oz left.

"Willow…why isn't Spike here?" Buffy said.

"Buffy do you remember what you told me 6 months ago?"

"No."

"You don't remember the 'if I'm in a coma' thing."

"Well…let's see…wait I do a little. Refresh my memory."

"Remember we were watching some movie about a girl who is in love with this guy and she ends up in a coma and the guy waits for her but she ends up dying and he wastes most of his life waiting for her?"

"Yea I remember that."

"Well you remember when you said you never want to put Spike through that?"

"Yea,"

"You told me that if that happened to tell him that you died."

"Oh my god. I did, didn't I?"

"Yes Buffy and I thought that it was what…"

"It was Willow…I would have much rather him be miserable thinking I'm dead then him being miserable with false hope in his heart."

"I know Buffy…but there's something I just have to ask you?"

"What's that?"

"What took ya so long?" They both laughed at that question.

* * *

"Spike!" Xander and Oz yelled as they walked into Spike's house.

"I'll check the bedroom." Xander said.

"Ok I'll check the living room." Oz said. He walked into the living room to find a zoned out Spike on the floor. "Hey Spike…listen you have to come with us. Xander's ex girlfriend Cordelia is in the hospital and they don't think she's going to make it. So we need you to come with us for moral support."

"Why the bloody hell would you need me for support Xander." Spike asked when he heard Xander's footsteps come in the room.

"Because you knew Cordy and I need some kind of help." Spike got up off the floor and looked at them.

"Fine but this is the last bloody thing I do for you wankers."

* * *

"Ok this is her room. I'll be right back stay here ok?"

"Yea sure whatever." Spike said. He was already annoyed that he had been dragged back here. He hated the hospital. Hospitals took away the people you love and care about.

"Ok Spike you can go in." Willow said when everyone was out of the room.

"Why the bloody hell am I going in there alone?"

"Because Spike we just want you to."

"GOD the things I do for you people." Spike said as he walked in the room. He had his head down so when he grabbed the hand of the person in the bed he didn't see her face.

"Spike," Buffy said as she squeezed his hand. Just the sound of her voice was enough to make Spike come out of his daze, but to actually look up and see her smiling face was enough to make him come out of his funk.

"Buffy…but they told me you were…"

"Dead…well see they did what I told them to do. Spike, I didn't want you to wait around here like a mindless idiot with false hope in your heart that I would ever wake up again."

"But Buffy I wanted to wait here…I would have waited forever for you. I love you so much Buffy."

"Spike, that's just it…I didn't want you to not have a life. I didn't want to take yours along with mine. I needed you to live on for me. But you just wouldn't let me go."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"When I was in a coma I kept seeing this bright ass light. And I wanted to walk up to it so bad, but there was this nagging British accent that just kept coming at me saying that I wasn't done yet, that I had to live on. And I knew it was you. Because Spike I love you. I've always loved you. Ever since that day you showed up at my house."

_-Flash back-_

_-Ding Dong- _

"_I got it mom." Buffy said as she ran to the door. She opened it only to find the guy she met at the bronze standing there. _

"_Hello…" _

"_Buffy it's me Spike. You said you knew Drusilla right?" _

"_Yeah…come in Spike." Spike walked in and closed the door. _

"_Thank you Buffy. Ok you know her then." _

"_Yes Spike I know her. Why what is this about and how did you find my house?" _

"_Well let's just say I know Angel now too." _

"_What? What happened?" Spike looked at Buffy, searching her eyes to find out if she was ready for the truth. "Want to sit down and tell me then?" _

"_Yes sure." Buffy led spike to couch and then sat down. _

"_Ok so Drusilla is about your age maybe older. Anyways so I go to her house because her parents aren't going to be home. And I used the spare key that she hid for me. I walked in and looked downstairs for her. But there was no sign of her. So I went upstairs and went in her room and she was having sex with your boyfriend." _

_Buffy got quiet and looked at Spike. "I know. I caught them 6 months ago. But Angel told me that was all over." _

"_Well it obviously isn't." _

"_But that still doesn't explain how you found my house?" _

"_Oh that. I asked your friend Willow." _

"_How do you know Willow?" _

"_I met her at the bronze a few nights back. Nice girl. Pretty. Totally in love with this Oz fellow." _

"_Yea but she's too scared to make the first move." _

"_Yea and she used to dig my friend Xander." _

"_Xander Harris?" _

"_Yea why you know him?" _

"_Know him…he practically was glued to Willow's hip the year I moved here." They both laughed. _

_Then Spike looked at Buffy. "Buffy." _

"_Yea," _

"_Are you still with Angel?" _

"_Not anymore." _

"_Good because I broke it off with Drusilla." _

"_Good for you." _

"_This wasn't the first you know." _

"_I don't doubt that." _

"_Buffy." _

"_Yes." _

"_Can I tell you something?" _

"_Yea sure." _

"_Ever since that first night we met. I haven't been able to stop thinking about you." Buffy looked at Spike and smiled. _

"_Neither have I Spike." _

"_Buffy?" _

"_Yes." _

"_Can I kiss you?" "_

_Yes." Spike moved across the couch and grabbed her in his arms and gave her a kiss that knocked the wind out of her. _

–_End of flash back-_


	10. Chapter Nine

Chapter 9 

"Spike…what happened?" Buffy asked when everything got quiet.

"I don't know love. I mean we were fine. Everything was great…till…"

"Till you got fired."

"Yes, but I have a new job now Buffy."

"Really?"

"Yes…with the company Pixar. You remember them don't you?"

"Yes and I distinctly remember you telling them no for some reason and them saying it was your lose."

"Yes, but they needed me and well there I am."

"Well Spike I'm very happy for you."

"Buffy I have missed you so much."

"Spike…I know that. But I just I need a little time. That's all just a little time."

"I understand love." Spike said as he leaned down and kissed her forehead. Buffy smiled and Spike left the room.

As Spike left the room, Willow came in for the first time since Spike showed up. Buffy was crying. "Buffy what's wrong?" Willow asked.

"I don't know if I can be this strong."

"What?"

"Willow I don't know if I can do this…this living without him."

"Oh Buffy." Willow said as she walked over and gave her best friend a hug.

* * *

The next month and a ½ Buffy went through Physical Therapy. Soon enough she was able to walk without the help of a cane or a nurse. And finally she was released. "Hey this is Willow and Oz. We're unable to come to the phone right now…please never a detailed message after the beep…" Willow's answering machine said before Buffy hung up. 'Damn she said she'd be home.' Buffy thought to herself. "Can I use the phone again?" Buffy asked the nurse at the desk.

"Why certainly Miss. Summer. Press 8 to call out."

"Thank you." Buffy said as she picked the phone back up.

"Ello" The voice on the other line said.

"Spike…it's me Buffy."

"Oh hi Buffy. Something I can do for you?"

"Spike…I need a ride from the hospital. Willow wasn't home and I didn't know if anyone else to call."

"Sure love. Can you meet me outside?"

"Yea sure."

"Ok I'll be there soon." Spike said as he hung up.

"Thank you." Buffy said as she handed the nurse the phone, picked up her stuff and headed outside.

Spike had showed up about 10 minutes later. Buffy got in and was quiet the whole way to her apartment. The only time either of them spoke was outside of her apartment building.

"So is physical therapy all done?" Spike asked.

"Yea for the most part. I still have to go in for them to check on me but I'm basically fine."

"That's good to here love."

"Spike listen…I wanted to ask you something."

"What is it love?"

"Um…do you want to go out for coffee tomorrow after noon?" Spike stared at her like she had two heads. "But it's totally cool if you don't want to I mean."

"No Buffy of course I want to. What time?"

"Noon at star bucks?"

"Sounds good love. Need any help with your stuff?"

"No I'm ok. Thanks Spike. And I'll see you tomorrow."

"See ya Buffy."

* * *

The next day Buffy and Spike had a cup of coffee. And everything went really well. Buffy even let Spike kiss her on the cheek when they said goodbye. "I'll call you ok Buffy?"

"Well you better Spike." But when Spike got home he was all confused. He didn't know whether or not Buffy still cared about him the same way she had for the 6 years they were together. He knew he still loved her but he wasn't sure. So he went to his room and pulled out his laptop and began writing in his journal.

_Journal- Today I went to have coffee with Buffy. God I still love her so much. I don't know what to do. I don't know where we stand in all of this. She just finished her physical therapy. And she's just getting back on her feet. I don't want to be the reason everything goes down hill for her. I just don't want that for her at all. I love her more than anything is in this world. Also my life is just starting to come together and I…god I don't know. I think I'm gonna go. I need to really think about this. _

Spike shut his laptop and picked up a book and began to read.

Spike heard a creak and looked up. "Things Fall apart...they fall apart so hard."

"Buffy?"

"You can never really put'em back together."

"Are you ok?"

"I'm sorry...it's just...you know it takes time...You can't just have coffee and expect…"

"I know." Spike said.

"There's so much to work through. Trust has to build again, on both sides... you have to learn if you're even the same people you were, if you can fit in each other's lives, it's a long and important process and can we just skip it? Can you just be kissing me now?" Buffy said as she stared at Spike. He got up and kissed her.


	11. Chapter Ten

Chapter Ten

"It's in the sandblaster." Buffy said as she was dreaming. Spike woke up a little when he heard her.

"What's in the sandblaster Buffy?" He said as he pulled her till her back was against his chest. "It's a dream. Come back to me." He said as he waited for her wake up.

Buffy smiled. "All geminis to the raspberry hats." She said as she smiled.

"Now you're faking." He said with a smile.

"Am not," She said as she smiled and rolled over. "Just a little," He smiled at her.

"Morning," He said.

"Morning,"

"Bad dream?" He asked her.

"Guess…but the waking up part makes up for it."

He smiled. This is exactly what he missed. Waking up with her in his arms. Seeing her smile…hearing her voice. He missed all of it. He was so happy she had given him another chance.

"So pet what was this dream about?"

"I don't know…just a lot of stuff really. I mean it didn't really have much of a plot."

"Oh well I guess we'll just have to hope it doesn't come again." He said as he leaned down and kissed her. "Ok well pet I'm off to work." Buffy looked at him a whined a little. "I know baby I know. But I need the money…we need the money."

Buffy laughed at his 'we' term. She was more than happy to back together with him. She just wondered if things would stay this good. "Spike," Buffy said as he went into his closet looking for clothes.

"Yes pet?"

"Do you think we'll stay like this? This happy?" Spike grabbed a nice shirt and some pants and laid them in the bed. Then he walked over to where Buffy was laying on his bed and looked at her.

"Buffy no I don't think we'll stay this happy. But that's what relationships are. They aren't just happy moments. They take time and effort to obtain them. I mean yes we'll have the good times but we'll still fight. But of course now it'll be like that first fight all over again."

_-Flashback-_

"_Buffy!" Willow said as ran down to catch her best friend. _

"_Hey Will…something up?" Willow looked at her. _

"_No…well yes. You remember that Oz guy I've been trying to hook up with for the last like 2 months." Buffy smiled _

"_Yes what about him?" _

"_Well he finally asked me out. And I don't really want to do the alone thing incase you know creep or something. So will you and Spike double with us?" Willow practically begged. Buffy thought about it and smiled. _

"_Sure Will. I'll talk to Spike and we'll go from there." Willow nearly jumped for joy. _

"_Ok yea call me." She said as she hugged her best friend and ran away. _

_Buffy went straight to Spike's after that to ask him if he wanted to double. "Spike!" Buffy yelled as she walked into his house. "Mr. Giles?" Suddenly Spike's dad, Rupert Giles, came around the corner. _

"_Oh hello Buffy. Here to see Spike?" _

"_Hello Sir. Yea is he still asleep?" Rupert looked up. _

"_Well I haven't heard Led Zeppelin or the Sex Pistols blaring from his room so I imagine he's still asleep. Why don't you go and wake him." _

"_Thank you Mr. Giles." Buffy said as she smiled and headed up stairs. She knocked on Spike's door but didn't get a reply so she opened it. _

"_Spike?" Buffy said as she walked in. In the bed was this massive blob of blankets with a bleach blonde head sticking of it. Buffy walked over the bed and sat down. 'God Spike we've only been together 2 months and already I'm in love with you' Buffy thought to herself. She began to nudge Spike to get him up. _

"_Spike honey. Wake up." Buffy whispered in his ear. "Spike please it's me wake up." Spike rolled over and looked directly into the face of the woman he was dreaming about. _

"_Buffy?" Buffy smiled. _

"_Hey baby. Good morning…or should I say good afternoon." _

"_What time is it?" _

_Buffy looked at the clock. "11:30. I had a ½ day today so I thought I would just surprise you." _

_Spike smiled at her. Then he sat up and opened his arms to her. "Come here." She crawled over to him and hugged him. He kissed her forehead. He thought that he always knew what love was and that he understood it. But that wasn't so after he met this girl. She was the only woman in the world that lit his senses on fire and made him crazy with love for her everyday. He was just too big of a chicken shit to tell her. _

"_Spike," Spike came out of his daze and looked down at her. _

"_Huh?" Buffy sat up. _

"_I need to talk to you." Spike instantly got worried. _

"_What about?" She smiled. She knew he was worried. "It's about Willow. Oz asked her out and she wants it to be a double tonight. I told her it was fine with me and that I just had to ask you." Spike suddenly got mad. _

"_So if I don't go are you still going to go?" Buffy looked at him curiously. _

"_Of course. But why wouldn't you go?" Spike looked at her. _

"_Buffy I had this whole romantic dinner planned for us tonight as a surprise." Buffy looked at him. _

"_Oh." _

"_Yea. But whatever it doesn't matter." Buffy looked at Spike. _

"_Spike I'm…"_

_Spike got up and went to his dresser. _

"_Doesn't matter. Now if you'd excuse me I need to get ready for work." Buffy got up and stormed out the room. She didn't even say good-bye to Mr. Giles as she stormed out the door._

_Later that night at the bronze:_

"_Buffy you made it." Willow said as Buffy made her way to the table. _

"_Yea." _

"_Where's Spike?" _

_Buffy started to get a little teary eyed. But she held back the water works. 'Not here, not in front of Willow and her date.' Buffy mentally told herself. "He had some things to take care of." Buffy said as she sat down. The guy that was sitting next to Willow smiled at Buffy and extended his hand. _

"_Hello, I'm Oz." Buffy smiled an instantly liked this guy. After about an hour of chit chat Buffy decided to hit the floor. That was when he showed up. _

"_Buffy?" Buffy turned around and instantly wished she hadn't. _

"_Angel." Angel was Buffy's ex boyfriend who had cheated on her and abused her for most their relationship. She hadn't told Spike all of it yet but she was getting to it. _

"_Buffy can we talk for a second?" Angel asked her. _

"_Sure." Buffy said as he led her out to the Alley way. _

"_Buffy listen. I'm sorry. I never should have hurt you like that. Drusilla…she means nothing to me. It's you I want." Angel said as he looked at her. _

"_Angel…I don't want you anymore. I put up with a year and 3 months of your crap and 8 fucking months of it was abuse. So understand when I say no!" Buffy said as she began to go back inside. Angel had other plans. He grabbed her arm and pulled her towards him. He put both his hands around her throat and began to squeeze. _

"_You little bitch. You think you can walk away from me. From this?" Angel said as he squeezed harder. _

"_If I can't have you. No one will." _

_Suddenly Buffy was dropped to the ground and Angel was out cold. _

"_Buffy love, are you alright?" Spike said as he helped her up. Buffy instantly threw her arms around him. _

"_Oh god Spike I was so scared. He was going to kill me." Spike hugged her and relief flooded through him that she was ok. _

"_Its ok love everything is going to be ok."_

_-End of Flashback-_


	12. Chapter Eleven

Chapter 11

Spike had already left when Buffy finally decided to get out of bed. She walked around, what had once been their house. In the 7 months they were apart some stuff had changed. Spike had bought a new TV, kitchen table, computer and he'd emptied the two spare rooms. 'This place could really use a woman's touch.' Buffy thought to herself.

"I still don't see why you don't just take Willow." Xander said as Spike dragged him to the jewelry store.

"Because, no offense to red, but she can't keep a bloody secret." Spike said as he looked around. Spike had dragged Xander out of his cubby at his work to help him look at engagement rings.

"Spike you aren't even back together with her and you're getting a ring." Xander said.

"Look, she stayed last night. She said we're back together. I want to make it permanent." Spike said. "That's the one. It's perfect." Spike said pointing to the gold ring with two sapphires on each side of a diamond.

* * *

"Oz!" Willow called as she walked into their home.

"Hey baby." Oz said as he came out of the kitchen and kissed her "Buffy called." Oz said.

"Really. What'd she say?" Willow asked as she hung her purse and car keys up.

"That her and Spike are back together." Oz said.

"They are?" Willow said.

"Willow sweetie. Don't be that surprised." Oz said as he smiled at her.

"I'm not. I'm just happy for them." Willow said as Oz kissed her.

* * *

Spike came in and threw his car keys on the table. After his Desoto died, he bought another rare car, or so he thought. He bought a PT Cruiser. He was so in his own little world that when he came in the house he didn't see Buffy's Jeep Liberty parked in the garage. He walked through the foyer to the living room and only then did he notice the smell of strawberries and vanilla. He got up and followed the scent to the bedroom. 'What's going on?' Spike thought to himself. 'Either I have an extremely good smelling burglar or...' He thought as he walked into the bedroom. "Buffy." He said as he saw her standing by the window. She walked over to him.

"Spike, what am I kidding myself. I can't live without you. I need you all the time. So I moved back in." Buffy said as she smiled.

"Good." Spike said as he kissed her.


	13. Chapter Twelve

Chapter Twelve

"Hey baby." Spike said as he woke Buffy up.

"Huh? Where you going?" Buffy asked as she sat up.

"Work luv. I'll be home around 6." Spike said as he kissed her forehead.

"Ok. I love you." Buffy said as she hugged him.

"I love you too." Spike said as he got up. Buffy laid back down and in seconds was back to sleep. Spike leaned down and kissed her forehead.

"I love you so much Buffy." He whispered as he left the room.

* * *

Buffy got up a little later and decided to go through her stuff. She called in sick to work, and then she decided to go through the closet. "God there's a lot of shit in here." Buffy said as a jewelry box fell off the shelf and hit her in the head. "Ouch. What the hell was that?" Buffy questioned as she looked on the ground. She picked up the box and looked inside. "Oh my god," Buffy said as she took the ring out. "It's my promise ring from Spike."

_**Flashback**_

"_Buffy!" Spike yelled as he ran into the gallery. _

"_Spike, what are you doing here?" Buffy said as Spike grabbed her. _

"_What a guy can't come see his girlfriend?" He asked. _

"_No, you can." She said as she smiled at him. _

"_What are you doing tonight?" Spike asked. _

"_Nothing why?" She said as she looked at him questioningly. _

"_Because we're going out to dinner, somewhere nice. I'll pick you up at 7:30. Ok?" Spike asked. _

"_Okay." Buffy said as she kissed him and he left. _

"_What was that about?" Willow asked when Buffy walked over to the counter. _

"_Who knows, but I have a dinner date tonight." Buffy said as she smiled and walked into the office._

_Buffy got off work at 5:15 and went home and spent the next hour and 15 minutes getting ready. She had no idea what to expect because this was Spike she was talking about. Her mom had told her just to dress in a nice skirt and a simple blouse. So that's what she had decided on. At exactly 7:30 Spike showed up. _

"_Hello there William." Joyce said as she opened the door. _

"_Hello there Ms. Summers. Did you do something with your hair?" Spike asked as he walked in. _

"_Oh well yes I just got some highlights." She said as she touched her hair. _

"_They look lovely." Spike said with a smile. _

"_Thank you William. Buffy will be down in a minute." Joyce said as she walked into the kitchen. A minute later Buffy emerged. Spike was turned around staring at the wall. _

"_William." Buffy said in her smuttiest voice. Spike turned around and smiled at her. _

"_Wow." He said as he walked over to her. _

"_Really?" Buffy asked as she walked down the stairs. Spike grabbed her and smiled at her. _

"_Yes, Buffy. Wow…that's all I can really say right now." Spike said as he let her go. Buffy laughed. _

"_So shall we get going pet?" Spike asked as he grabbed her hand. _

"_Yea. HEY MOM SPI…William and I are leaving." Buffy yelled. _

"_Ok honey. I'll see you later." Joyce yelled from the kitchen. Then the happy couple left._

_The dinner at the restaurant was awesome. Buffy had been to different dinners in places like this. Working for a car museum did have its perks. But this was different some how. She didn't know if it was because she was with Spike or because it was just different all together. But she didn't seem to really care.. Spike didn't talk much during the dinner. He had too much on his mind at the moment. He wanted tonight to be special. _

"_Buffy." Spike said after they had dessert. _

"_Yes, Spike." Buffy said as she looked at him. _

"_You want to go take a walk by the river?" Spike asked hoping that she would say yes. _

"_Sure. That would be really cool." Buffy said as she smiled at him. _

"_Ok let me go pay for this then we can go." Spike said as he got up took her hand and kissed it. Then he went and paid the bill. A few minutes later he came back and saw a note on the table._

–_Spike. I went out to the car. Buffy - He then grabbed his coat and put his hands in his pockets. He felt something in the right one. It was another note from Buffy. –I'm tired of you always paying for everything. Here's 60.00. Have fun with it. – Spike silently yelled at her. But knew that was just who she is and it didn't matter to him. He went out to the car and kissed her then drove to the river._

_They decided to just walk around for a while then sit down and talk. Spike was really nervous about something and Buffy could tell. _

"_Spike…what's wrong?" Buffy asked when she started to get really worried. _

"_Buffy. There's something I need to talk to you about." Spike said as he took her hands. Buffy smiled at him. "Ok. You want to talk right now?" Buffy asked. Spike nodded and they sat down on a bench. _

"_Buffy I love you more than anything else in this world. It's like whenever I'm with you I feel so whole and complete that I never want to lose that feeling. But when I'm not with you. I feel alone and I hate it. You're everything to me. I love you with all the stars in the sky. And that love for you grows stronger and stronger each day. I want to marry you Buffy Anne Summers. I want to marry you and say to every soul in the world that I have the most beautiful wife in the world. So…" Spike said as he pulled out a black jewelry box. He opened it and looked at her. "This ring is a promise. That some day…in the future…I can make that come true. That one day you will be my wife. Can we make that promise together Buffy? Will you wear this promise ring?" Spike asked. Buffy grabbed him and kissed him with all the love she felt for him. Spike pulled away when he felt his face getting wet. _

"_Buffy love what's wrong?" He said as his hands cupped her face. _

"_Nothing Spike it's just that. I'm so happy and I was so scared that you were going to end things with me." Spike tilted her face up. _

_"No Buffy. I would never leave you…ever." Buffy smiled. _

"_Well William Giles. I accept this promise. I am forever yours." Buffy said as Spike smiled and slipped the ring on her finger. _

_**End of Flashback**_

* * *

Buffy was crying on the floor in the closet when Spike came home. "Buffy love, what's wrong?" Spike said as he dropped to the floor.

"Nothing, It's just that. I found this today." Buffy said as she held up the promise ring. She then got up and hugged Spike.

"I love you so much you know that. I never want to leave you. Never again. I'm yours William. All yours and I plan to stay that way. If you let me of course." Buffy said as she looked at his face.

"Always Buffy, Always my love." Spike said as he kissed her.


	14. Chapter Thirteen

**Chapter 13**

Buffy called Willow a couple days later and told her that they were going to the bronze that Friday night. And they were going without the guys. "It's a girl's night out." Buffy had told her. So that Friday night Buffy picked up Willow and they headed out while Spike and Oz had a movie marathon.

"So Buff spill why didn't you want Spike around?" Willow asked, "You two aren't fighting are you?" Buffy smiled at Willow.

"No we're not fighting I just realized how much I miss you and how I thought we needed a girls night out." Buffy said as she ordered hers and Willows drinks.

"Ok...I've missed you too Buffy. But you and Spike are honestly ok?" Willow said as Buffy handed her a coke and drank her Smirnoff.

"Yes we're better then fine. It's like life just got ten times better. Did I tell you that I found the promise ring he gave me senior year?" Buffy asked as they sat down.

"No. Where was it?" Willow asked.

"In the closet. Top shelf. I think I put it there a long time ago and forgot." Willow smiled.

"Yea probably." Buffy laughed and looked out at the dance floor. Buffy put her drink down.

"Come on Willow lets go show those guys how to dance." Buffy asked as she dragged Willow out to the dance floor. They danced for a 6 songs before Buffy told Willow that she was going to go get another drink. Buffy walked off the floor and walked over to the bar.

"Buffy." Someone said as they tapped her shoulder. Buffy turned around and suddenly wished she hadn't.

"Angel. What do you want?" Buffy said with anger in her voice.

"Here miss." The bartender said as he handed Buffy her drink.

"Thanks." She said as she handed him a 20.

"I want to talk to you." Angel said as he followed Buffy.

"Didn't Spike and I tell you to leave me alone after the last god damn thing you did?" Buffy said as she whirled around. "Yes and I'm sorry I did that...I didn't..." Angel said before Buffy interrupted him.

"Shut up. You abused me for 8 months of our relationship. I almost gave myself to you. I told you my every secret. I loved you so much more then you'll ever know and you threw that away on my birthday. Do you remember that Angel? Do you remember throwing me on that table and then picking me up and throwing me in to the wall?" Buffy said as she set her drink down and got in Angel's face.

"Yes." Angel said as he looked at the floor. He was so ashamed of himself and his past actions to Buffy that he couldn't even look her in the face.

"Angel...all I'm trying to say is that I don't want you in my life." Buffy said, "But what do you want?" Buffy said as she started to rub the side of her head. She was starting to get an extremely bad headache.

"He's not going to be able to save you." Angel said. Buffy looked at him like a deer in headlights.

"What? Who?" Buffy said.

"Spike, He isn't going to able to save you." Angel said as he looked at her.

"What are you talking about?" Buffy said. Angel smiled.

"I had a dream Buffy. You know how my dreams tend to come true right?" Buffy nodded. "Well I had a dream that you died, but Spike couldn't save you. He just couldn't." Angel said as he kissed Buffy's cheek and smiled. "But you were fine. No pain. Good Bye Buffy." Angel said as he looked at Buffy one last time and left.

Buffy couldn't move after that. 'I'm going to die...what the fuck...no that's not fucking right...Angel is fucking lying...yea that's it...it's just a lie.' Buffy told her self as she drank another Smirnoff. Willow came up behind Buffy just as she finished it. "Buffy are you ok?" Willow asked as she looked at Buffy. She looked pale...kind of like she had just seen a ghost or something. "Buffy?" Willow asked again. Buffy looked at her.

"Huh?" She asked.

"You ok?" Willow asked.

"Not really...you want to go?" Buffy asked. Willow nodded and they grabbed their stuff and left.

* * *

Buffy dropped off Willow. After much reassurance to Willow, that she would be fine drove her self home. She didn't make a sound when she came in, but Spike was sleeping on the couch and he heard her.

"Buffy." Spike said as he got up and walked over to her. Buffy looked at him. He wasn't wearing a shirt so she could see his six pack that made her melt into pudding at his feet. She looked him up and down before making direct eye contact with him. Spike watched her look him up and down knowing that she was probably just being her own crazy self. He touched her shoulder and she grabbed him and kissed him roughly. Spike was a little confused but soon forgot everything when Buffy started grabbing at his belt buckle. "Buffy." Spike said when the broke apart, "What's going on?" Spike asked as he took her face in his hands.

"I want you tonight Spike." Buffy said, "I want you to make love to me like it's the last time you'll ever get to do it." She said as she smiled. Spike smiled and nodded. Then he kissed her slowly. Then the kiss started to get rougher and more aggressive and he realized her wanted her just as bad as she wanted him. He picked her up and pressed her against the wall. She had on a short black leather skirt that showed off quiet a bit of leg, which Spike liked a lot, and a tank top that tied up the middle. It kind of looked like something the singer of evanescence would wear. Buffy started biting his neck when he stopped kissing her, which earned her a moan from Spike. Then she decided to be a bit daring again. She reached down and grabbed him. Spike's eyes shot up.

"You haven't done that in a long time." He said as he looked at her amazed.

"I know." Buffy said as she started moving her hand.

"God I love you." Spike said as he started messing with her chest. "Stupid top." Spike said as he looked at it. Buffy smiled.

"Come on." Buffy said as she slid down and led him to their room.

* * *

"Wow." Buffy said three hours later.

"Yea...wow." Spike said as he pulled her to him.

"So what was that all about pet?" Spike asked her as he looked into her eyes.

Buffy looked right back at him and said. "Because in all the times that we've had sex we've never made love...or whatever it is. And I wanted to experience that at least once. And I wanted to experience that with you." Buffy said.

Spike leaned down and kissed her. "I'm glad you said something...because I didn't know if you wanted that sort of thing."

Buffy sat up and looked at him. "Spike I want to give myself to you completely. I want you to know my body and soul. And I want to you know yours. That's if you'll let me." Buffy said as she looked down. Spike tilted her chin up.

"You already do Buffy...my body and soul is you. You're everything to me and, then some. You're all I bloody think about. Dream about. You're in my gut...my throat... I'm drowning in you, Summers; I'm drowning in you." Buffy looked at him and kissed him.

"I love you William Giles. And I will love you till the day I die." Buffy said as she looked in to his eyes.

"And I love you Buffy Summers. And I will love you till the day I die."


	15. Chapter Fourteen

**Chapter 14**

Buffy woke up the next morning and decided to go to work. She had an article that was due and she still needed to talk to Tara about it. She kissed Spike and got in her liberty and left.

-Knock knock-

"Come in." The voice on the other side of the door said. "Miss McKay? Are you busy?" Buffy asked as she poked her head in.

"N…n...no Miss. Summers come on in." Tara said as Buffy came in and sat down. "What can I do for you today?"

Buffy smiled and handed her a folder. "That is my latest article. It's not what you wanted exactly. I decided to do more of a personal article than another view one. But it's still the drinking and driving piece that you wanted. But it's so much more than that now."

Tara opened the folder and began reading Buffy's article. "M…miss. Summers. This is wonderful. It's so much better than I thought it would be." Tara said as she closed the folder.

"Really? Because I didn't know if I went to over board or something." Buffy said as she looked down.

"No Miss. Summers. In fact there is something that I have been meaning to talk to you about for the last week. Your pieces…they're wonderful. They're just…well ½ the time I cant believe you're only 23. But they're just outstanding. And I have been looking for someone to be our dear something lady. And I believe that you…Miss Summers…are just the person to fill that position." Buffy looked at Tara like she had grown two heads.

"My…own…section?"

"Yes…your own section…un…unless you don't want to then…well we'll…" Tara said as she started to get a little nervous.

"No…Miss. McKay…I'll think about it and I'll get back to you ok?" Buffy said as she got up and left the office.

* * *

"SPIKE." Buffy yelled as she walked in the door.

"Yea love?" Spike said as he got up from the computer and walked into the living room.

"We need to talk." Buffy said she sat on the couch.

"Ok." Spike said as he sat down next to her. "What is this about love?"

Buffy looked at him. "I think I'm being promoted."

Spike smiled at her. "Buffy that's wonderful. Congratulations." Then he noticed the not so sure look on her face. "Love…Buffy is there something wrong?"

Buffy looked at him. "Spike she wants me to have my own piece…my own page…and Ask Buffy sort of thing."

"Wow…that's…wow." Spike said as he looked at Buffy.

"I know…and I don't think I can do it."

Spike looked at her. "And why the hell not?"

"Because Spike I'm not the one. I just barely managed to survive my own stupidity…I don't think I'm qualified to give other people advice about their problems when I can't even solve my own." Buffy said as she started to cry. "I don't think I can do this. I mean I can't even keep a good relationship with you. I question every I love you that comes out of yours or my mouth."

Spike got on his knees in front of her. "You listen to me. I've been alive a lot longer than you. I've seen things you couldn't imagine and things I'd prefer you didn't. I don't exactly have a reputation for being a thinker. I follow my blood. Whish doesn't always rush in the direction of my brain. So I've made a lot of mistakes. A lot of bloody wrong calls. But there's only one thing I've ever been sure of…you." Spike said. Buffy looked at him and turned away. "Look at me. I'm not asking you for anything. When I tell you I love you it's not because I want you or because I can have you. It has nothing to do with me. I love what you are, what you do, how you try. I've seen your strength and you kindness. I've seen the best and the worst of you and I understand with perfect clarity exactly what you are. You're a hell of a woman. You're the one, Buffy."

Buffy looked at him. Knowing fully well he didn't mean the magazine anymore. "I don't…I don't want to be the one."

Spike smiled. "I don't want to be this good looking and athletic…we all have our crosses to bear."

Buffy smiled. "Spike, I don't know if I can do this…I just don't know."

"Buffy…listen to the words I just said. You're the one you can do this. And you know why? Because you're strong and you love helping people. I know you Buffy and I know that you're going to do this not because you have to but because you want to." Buffy smiled at him and kissed him. "What was that for?" Spike asked.

"For being everything to me. I love you…you know that don't you?"

Spike smiled. "I've known that for years love."

* * *

The next morning Buffy accepted the page in the magazine and started a quick letter to introduce the page for the next issue. While Spike had taken the day off for a little sudden planning himself. "Xander…yea it's Spike…ok I need to know do you think Buffy would like candles every where?" Spike asked his friend over the phone.

"I don't know…wait are you doing what I think you're doing?" Xander asked.

"Yes now will you please bloody well help me?" Spike yelled.

"Yea sure ok just stopping yelling. I'll be over in a second." Spike sighed as he hung up.

* * *

Buffy came home at 6 feeling tired and sore. She had run around all day trying to get the letter done and to editing to be published. She didn't know that it was going to take this much work. Now all she wanted to do was take a long hot bath and crawl in bed with her best friend. "Spike." Buffy said quietly as she walked in the house. The first thing that Buffy noticed was a trail of long stemmed roses on the floor. Buffy was curious so she picked them up as she followed the trail. After picking up 12 the roses became rose pedals. The pedals led her to their bedroom where she saw that the bed was covered in roses and she walked in. Candles were on every dresser and shelf and the room was dark. A soft melody was coming from the stereo as Spike walked out from the bathroom. He was wearing a black tux with a black shirt under it, which he knew Buffy liked a lot.

"Hello love." Spike said as he wrapped his arms around her.

"Oh Spike. It's beautiful. Did you do this all yourself?" Buffy asked as she smiled at him.

"Sort of…well Xander helped a little. But not much."

Buffy laughed and kissed him. "Well it's beautiful. But what's the occasion?"

"Pretty much you are." Spike said as he smiled at her. "Buffy there is something that I have been waiting for a life time to ask you."

"What is it?" Buffy asked as she looked at him curiously.

Spike smiled at her. "The moment I met you Buffy I knew that there was something different about you. The way you carried yourself was just so different then all the other girls that I knew. And on our first date I fell in love with you and I haven't fell out of love with you since. You're everything to me Buffy. You're my heart and my soul and I can't think about spending any day of my life without you by my side." Spike said as he got down on his knee. " So Buffy Anne Summers…Will you marry me?" Spike said as he opened the ring case.

"I don't know what to say." Buffy said.

"Just say yes…and make me the happiest man on earth." Spike said with a smile.

"Oh Spike…Of course its yes." Buffy said as she smiled and Spike got up and kissed her. "Oh Spike…I love you so much."

"I love you too Buffy." Spike said as he kissed her softly. Then he heard her stomach growl.

"Sorry honey…I'm really hungry…got anything to eat?" Buffy asked with a smile. Spike laughed and led her to the kitchen.


	16. Chapter Fifteen

Chapter 15

They decided that the first people they would tell the next morning would be Joyce and Rupert. So Spike called his Dad and Buffy called her mom and they invited them both to dinner. Then Buffy called Willow and Oz and invited them to dinner. And finally Spike called Xander and Anya and invited them to dinner as well. "Spike," Buffy called from the bathroom.

"Yea love?" Spike said as he walked in.

"I don't feel so hot. I'm going to go lay down for a little bit ok?"

"Yea sure love. I'll wake you when your mum gets here."

"Ok." Buffy said as she walked into the bedroom.

* * *

Spike decided that making dinner required a little bit of music. So he popped in his Maroon 5 cd and programmed the songs harder to breathe and this love.

_How dare you say that my behavior is unacceptable_

_So condescending unnecessarily critical_

_I have the tendency of getting very physical_

_So watch your step cause if you do you'll need a miracle_

_You drain me dry and make me wonder why I'm even here_

_This double vision I was seeing is finally clear_

_You want to stay but you know very well I want you gone_

_Not fit to funkin tread the ground that I am walking on_

_When it gets cold outside and I got nobody to love_

_You'll understand what I mean when I say _

_There's no way we're gonna give up_

_And like a little girl cries in the face of a monster that lives in her dreams_

_Is there anyone out there cause it's getting harder and harder to breath_

_Is there anyone out there cause it's getting harder and harder to breath_

_What you are doing is screwing things up inside my head_

_You should know better you never listened to a word I said_

_Clutching you pillow and writhing in a naked sweat_

_Hoping somebody will do you like I did_

Spike listened to the words and decided they didn't really work for him. So he put on the next song.

_I was so high I didn't not recognize_

_The fire burning in her eyes_

_The chaos that controlled my mind_

_Whispered goodbye and she got on a plane_

_Never to return again_

_But always in my heart_

_This love has taken its toll on me _

_She said goodbye too many times before_

_And her heart is breaking in front of me_

_I have no choice cause I won't say goodbye anymore_

_I tried my best to feed her appetite _

_Keep her coming every night_

_So hard to keep her satisfied _

_Kept playing love like it was just a game_

_Pretending to feel the same_

_Then turn around and leave again_

_This love has taken its toll on me_

_She said goodbye too many times before_

_And her heart is breaking in front of me_

_I have no choice cause I won't say goodbye anymore_

_I'll fix these broken things_

_Repair your broken wings_

_And make sure every things all right_

_My pressure on her hips_

_Sinking my fingertips_

_Into every inch of you _

_Cause I know that's what you want me to do_

_This love has taken its toll on me_

_She said goodbye too many times before_

_And her heart is breaking in front of me _

_I have no choice cause I won't say goodbye anymore_

Spike sang along to the song. Knowing that was totally not how he felt. He just liked the beat of it. It was bloody addictive.

* * *

Two hours later Rupert Giles rang the doorbell. Spike went to answer it. "Dad," Spike said as he hugged his father.

"William. How are you? Where's Buffy?" He said when him and his son broke apart.

"Taking a nap, she didn't feel well. I suppose I should wake her…" Spike said as he turned to go the bedroom.

"Nonsense Son, Let the girl sleep." Rupert, who Buffy called Giles, said as he walked to the living room. "Love what you've done with the place son."

Spike laughed. In the few days Buffy had been back in the house she had moved everything and was keeping the place kind of clean. "It's mostly Buffy, Dad."

"Yes I suppose so son."

"Come on Willow…pick up." Buffy said as she dialed Willow's phone number.

"Hello." Willow said as she picked up the phone.

"Willow its Buffy. I need you to do me a HUGE favor."

"Buffy. I was just on my way to your house. Oz already left."

"Willow."

"Oh sorry, What do you need me to do?" Willow asked a little worried about her best friend.

"I need you to…"

-Ding Dong-

Spike got up from the couch and answered the door. "Oz, Xander, Anya. Thanks for coming." Spike said as he let his 3 friends' in. "Where's Willow?"

"Worked late and needed a shower. She'll be here in a little." Oz said as he walked into the living room. "Hello Mr. Giles."

"Hello Daniel."

"Like how the place looks Spike." Xander said as he smiled at Spike.

"Very funny Harris," Spike said as he looked at his friend.

"Hello Spike." Anya said.

"Hello Anya. Good to see you."

"You too, and I'm glad you and Buffy fixed things."

"Thank you."

"Lots of make up orgasms I'm guessing."

Spike just stared at Anya.

"Anya…honey come here." Xander said as he dragged Anya away.

Then the doorbell rang. "Saved by the bloody bell." Spike said to himself as he answered the door. "William." Joyce said as she pulled him in for a hug.

"Joyce. It's good to see you."

"Like wise. Where's Buffy?"

"Nap…she didn't feel good. I'll go get her now that you're here."

"No it's fine…"

"Mom," Buffy said as she walked out of the living room.

"Buffy." Joyce said as Buffy came over and hugged her mother.

"Oh honey I've missed you so much. How are the legs? They still hurt you?"

"No Mom. They're fine. Why don't you come sit with everyone else?" Buffy said as she showed her mom the living room.

"Buffy." Spike said as he looked at her.

"Yeah?" Buffy said when she walked over to him.

"You feel any better pet?" Spike said as he wrapped his arms around her.

"No…but it's probably nerves. I've scared that they wont approve."

"Nonsense, we've been together majority of our lives. I think they'll approve." Spike said as he kissed her on the forehead. Then the doorbell rang. Spike opened the door.

"Buffy." Willow said as she came in and hugged her friend. "I got what you wanted." Willow whispered in her ear.

"Spike, Willow and I have to talk about something. Will you keep everyone busy for a little bit…PLEASE?" Buffy said as she gave Spike the puppy dog eyes.

"Sure. But hurry up." Buffy kissed him on the cheek and went with Willow the bathroom.

* * *

When they were in the bathroom and made sure both doors were locked, Willow pulled the box out of the bag. "This is the one. They lady at Walgreen's said it was a really good one."

"Ok." Buffy said as she took the box from Willow. "How do I even do this?"

"Well here read the instructions."

"Oh ok…can you leave the room for a sec?"

"Yea sure." Willow said as she went into the bedroom. A minute later Buffy poked her head out.

"Ok you can come back in…we have to wait for 5 minutes." Buffy said when Willow was in the bathroom and had the door locked.

"So what are you gonna do if it says what we hope it doesn't say?"

"I don't know. I haven't really thought about it."

"Well I mean you and Spike aren't even married. And ten bucks he isn't even thinking about marriage right now."

"Um Willow."

"Huh?"

"Look." Buffy said as she showed Willow the engagement ring on her finger.

"Oh my goddess…when? How? Details now please." Willow said as she stared at the ring.

"Last night. He had roses everywhere. First I had to follow this trail of 12 beautiful red roses. Then when that stopped I followed a trail of petals all the way to the bedroom. And there were candles and roses on the bed. And he proposed. Said he loved me since our first date. Willow he was so sweet. He even made me dinner and well…" Buffy said as she started to blush.

"I get the picture Buffy. Wow that all sounds so romantic Buffy. When Oz proposed to me…he did it through a song. It was sweet. I like mine but I love yours. That Spike is a keeper." Willow said as looked at the pregnancy test.

"I know." Buffy said as she stared off into oblivion.

"Um Buffy." Willow said as Buffy looked at her.

"What?"

"Look." Buff looked down.

"Oh."

* * *

"Yea so I get there and my boss, Faith McAllister, is like Mr. Giles your work is breath taking. Is everything you do that way? Well I knew the chit was flirting with me so I just decided I didn't want that stuff and told her how it was. That I'm in love with a beautiful woman. Who has had my heart and soul since I was 20 years old. Haven't been flirted with since." Spike said as he put his arm around Buffy. "Everything ok pet?" Spike whispered in her ear.

"Yea," Buffy said as she hugged him.

"Ok well you all know that we probably didn't call you over here just to have dinner and make small talk." Spike said.

"Even though that's fine too and we should do that more." Buffy said as she smiled.

"But we have something we want to tell you all."

"Yes." Buffy said as she smiled at everyone.

"Last night I asked Buffy to marry me. And she said yes."

"Oh my…oh wow. Oh Buffy let me see." Joyce said as her and Anya flew up and looked at the ring.

"Congrats man." Oz and Xander said.

"Thanks guys."

"Son…I'm very happy for the both of you." Giles said as he pulled his son in for a hug.

"Can you all sit down please?" Buffy said as Joyce and Anya finished complementing her on the ring. "You too Spike." Buffy said as she smiled at him. Spike looked at her with a puzzled face but did as she asked.

"There is some other news to share…I'm pregnant." Buffy said as she stared at the people she loved the most in the world. Spike got up and walked over to her.

"Are you serious?"

"Yes baby…I'm serious…we're going to have a baby." Buffy said as she smiled at him.

Spike looked at her and kissed her. "I'm gonna be a dad." Spike could hardly believe it.

Everyone jumped up and hugged Buffy who was way too happy and shocked to really say anything. So when all the talking was through they had dinner and Buffy and Spike told them that they wanted to have the wedding in 3 months. They had already decided everything. And they just wanted to be married already. Even though they felt like they were. When everything was through it was 9 and Buffy was tired and sleepy.

"Tired love?" Spike said as he wrapped his arms around her waist. Buffy leaned her head back on his chest.

"Yes…very."

"Too tired to have a talk?" Spike asked as she turned around in his arms.

"What about?"

"The baby."

"Oh…no that's fine…I'll go change and we can talk ok?"

"Ok love." Spike said as he leaned down and kissed her.

10 minutes later Buffy emerged from the bathroom in her pajamas. Spike was already in bed waiting for her. "Ok so what do you want to talk about?"

"How long have you known?" Spike asked, hoping it wasn't long because he hated when she kept stuff from him.

"Just today, I found out when Willow got here. She bought me a pregnancy test and I took it with her."

"Why didn't you tell me you thought you might be pregnant?"

"Because I didn't want you to get your hopes up or something."

"Oh…Buffy can I tell you something?"

"Of course."

"Ever since I was a teenager I decided that I didn't want to have children. I just didn't want to pass on everything that was wrong with me to some innocent kid. And I made up my mind I decided to find a girl who didn't want kids and not have any. Well then I met you. And you didn't want them…at first. And when your dad died you decided that you wanted them. And I thought a lot about it. I thought about how good a person your dad was and how good a person you are and I decided that I wanted to carry those traits out to some kid. I wanted to show my son or daughter so many things. And I forgot my fears and just decided that I didn't care anymore. I look at my dad and I see how he is with me. And I want the same thing with my children. So what I'm saying Buffy is that I'm not afraid anymore. I want to have this baby. And I want to have it with you." Spike said as he rolled over and smiled at her.

"Oh honey." Buffy said as she kissed him.

* * *

The next three months went by fast. Between doctor visits and all the stuff for the wedding it was hectic. But the day had finally come. Spike and Buffy had chosen and wedding on the beach at sunset. Buffy had originally wanted a daytime ceremony at the park. But Spike thought that the beach would be more romantic. So here they were. Buffy was so nervous. Along with the throwing up and the stomach issues she was pretty much a wreck. "Mom…does this…do I look alright to you?" Buffy said as she came out of the bathroom. Joyce turned around and looked at her daughter. Buffy had on a white gown with no straps. They had to get a bigger dress in case Buffy was showing really bad. And oddly enough she was. Joyce was worried her daughter was much bigger then she was supposed to be. Buffy's hair was in curls down the side of her face and back and her bangs were curled.

"Honey you look beautiful." Joyce said as she hugged her daughter.

"Ready to go?" Giles said as he poked his head in. "Buffy." Giles said as he walked over to her. "You look beautiful."

"Thank you Giles…and yes I'm ready. It's now or never."

Giles led Buffy to the end of the hall where she was going to walk to the aisle. She was nervous again. Also a little unsure. She didn't know why. She loved Spike and knew she had no regrets but she couldn't shake the feeling of cold feet. "Ok Buffy are you ready?" Giles said as he held her hand as he looped her arm in his.

"As I'll ever be." Giles nodded and began to lead her down the aisle. The first thing Buffy looked at was her family. She looked at all their faces and smiled. Then she looked at her mom. She was crying as Buffy figured she would be. Then she looked at Willow. And Will gave her thumbs up. Then finally she looked at Spike. He had on a black tux with a white shirt under it. His bleached hair was combed into messy, but sexy curls and he looked breath taking. 'Wow.' Buffy said as she walked down the aisle. Her eyes on Spike the whole time.

Spike couldn't believe the amount of people that were there. But it didn't really matter to him that much. All the mattered was that soon Buffy Summers would be Buffy Giles and she would be his wife to love and hold and cherish forever. Then suddenly the music jarred Spike out of his thoughts. He hadn't even noticed the wedding party walk down the aisle. He looked around and saw that they had indeed walked down without him knowing. He looked back down the aisle and saw her. She had her hair up with two strands of curls hanging in the sides and flowers all in her hair. She looked happy on the arm of his father. She looked beautiful. He was in a daze that he almost didn't realize that they were standing right in front of him. His father kissed Buffy on the cheek and gave her to William. Buffy smiled and him and whispered I love you. Spike smiled back at her and whispered it back. "Dearly Beloved. We are gathered here today to bring together William Giles and Buffy Summers, in holy matrimony." That was all Buffy heard as she lost herself in Spike's eyes. "Miss. Summers and Mr. Giles have both written their own vows." The priest said as he looked at Buffy. Buffy smiled and began to speak. "Before I met you I was so lost. I didn't know whether I was coming or going or just floating around aimlessly looking for something…anything to get me by. And then there was you. And you were my rock, my strength and power. And I loved you the second I saw you. I knew you were the one and I just had to hold on to you. My dad told me that you were a great guy for me and he was right. And I know he's here today proud of me for not running away but for loving you all the days of our lives and all the many more that we'll have and that we'll spend together." Spike stared at her and smiled. "Now you Mr. Giles." The priest said.

"I never really understood love or forever with someone. I just thought that I would always get sick of, whoever, I was with and walk away from it. But then I met you. This feisty little firecracker of a woman that lit my senses on fire and found new ways to surprise me everyday. I knew you were the one the second I kissed you and held you in my arms. You were my one…my everything. You're my life and my heart and my soul Buffy Summers. And I can't think of spending one more day without you." Buffy almost cried as she smiled at Spike. The rest of the wedding was totally normal. And when they were pronounced husband and wife, Spike grabbed Buffy and kissed in a way that he probably shouldn't have. But he couldn't help it. He loved her so much that he just had to show it.


	17. Chapter Sixteen

Chapter 16

Buffy and Spike went to Florida for their honeymoon. It was a good week that they enjoyed greatly. Spike was working overtime a lot to get some extra money before the baby was born. He didn't get to go to all of her appointments because of it. But Buffy begged him to go to her 6th month one with her. So he gave into her and went. "Ok Mr. Giles…you're wife already knows so I think it's time to let you in on a little secret. You're having twins." Dr. Burkle said as Spike stared at her.

"Spike." Buffy said as she snapped her fingers at him.

"What…oh…there's gonna be two of them." Spike said as he held Buffy's hand and the doctor left the room.

"Yes Spike. Two, a little boy and a little girl, you know the best of both worlds." Buffy said with a smile. Spike grabbed her and kissed her.

"God I love you so much Buffy."

"I love you too Spike."

* * *

And before they knew it 9 months was up and Buffy was in the hospital giving birth to the two bouncing babies. "Ok Buffy just one more and we'll have the first one out." The doctor said.

"I don't think I can…" Buffy said as she pushed.

"Come on baby you can do it…Come on Buffy…I love you come baby." Spike said as he held her hand.

"Ok that's one…you have yourselves a little girl here Mr. and Mrs. Giles." She said as she looked at them. "Would you like to cut the cord Mr. Giles?" Spike nodded and did it. Then he looked at his baby girl.

"Look Buffy. Isn't she beautiful?" Spike asked as he kissed Buffy's forehead.

"I love you Spike." Buffy said, "But if you do this to me again I'll kill you."

"Ok Mrs. Giles…we're going to have to have you push again."

"Ok." Buffy said as she held Spike's hand and pushed. A couple minutes later Buffy and Spike were gifted with a son.

"Oh Buffy he looks like you."

Buffy smiled and looked at her kids.

"Alexia Ann…and Seth Robert," She said as she looked at Spike.

"That's what you want?"

"Yes Spike. That's what I want. I love you." Buffy said as she closed her eyes.

Suddenly the heart monitor went nuts. And Buffy started shaking.

"BUFFY!" Spike screamed as he tried to get her to stop. But he was pulled away as doctor after doctor came to look at her. He was asked to go and wait in the waiting room. He walked out as his father, and his mother in law walked over to him.

"William how is she?" Joyce asked.

"Well she had both the twins and then something happened she said the names of them and told me she loved me and then she started shaking and…" Spike said as he looked at Joyce. "I don't know what…I think they said she coded…I don't know what that even means right now." By that point Joyce was on the ground crying and Rupert had his arms around his son. Two hours later Dr. Burkle came out of the room. "Mr. Giles." She said as she walked up to Spike.

"How's Buffy? Is she ok?" Spike asked as he stood up.

"Mr. Giles I think you need to sit down for this."

"No God dam nit I won't. Just tell me how my wife is."

"I'm sorry Mr. Giles…there was nothing we could do. Your wife had seizure after she gave birth to the last baby. The stress and pressure was too much for her and she couldn't take it anymore. She was gone after she talked to you." Fred said as she looked at her. Spike couldn't even look at her. All that went through his mind was that his wife…his Buffy was gone. He was alone and he was mad. Joyce and Rupert were instantly on him as they held him and cried together.


	18. Epilogue

**Authors Note: The two songs in here are Avril Lavigne "Slipping Away" and "Broken" By Seether feat. Amy Lee of evanescence. **

**This is the rest of it. I went and read it all and i just realized that I use to be a horrible writer. LOL. So if you hate this i dont blame you guys. Even though it started from a great dream it turned into this. Anyway. So here it is.  
**

* * *

Epilogue:

The funeral for Buffy was a horrible and sad one. Spike wouldn't even speak. Joyce and Rupert had the twins most of the time. Except when Seth would cry so bad that Joyce would scream William and Spike would have to care for his son. Spike just couldn't accept it. They had been so happy. He had…he loved her so much. And in their stupid wishes to have the babies he had lost the most important thing to him. His wife, his best friend, his lover, his world was taken from him the ay his son and daughter were born. Spike was sitting in the lounge listening to the radio when he decided to talk to Buffy. "Buffy…love why did you leave me? God pet, I miss you so much. It feels like this huge chunk of my heart has just been ripped out and there is absolutely nothing I can do about it. And it bloody well sucks. I didn't even get to say good bye to you." Spike said as he put his head in his hands and cried. As he did this a song came on the radio and the first few words caught his attention.

_Na Na_

_Na Na Na_

_I miss you_

_I miss you so bad_

_I don't forget you_

_Oh it's so sad._

As soon as Spike heard that he decided to get up and turn up the radio and listen to the whole song.

_I hope you can hear me_

_I remember it clearly_

_The day you slipped away_

_Was the day I found_

_It wont be the same_

_Oh_

_Na Na_

_Na Na Na Na_

_I didn't get around to kiss you_

_Goodbye on the hand_

_I wish that I could see you again_

_I know that I cant_

_I hope you can hear me_

_Cause I remember it clearly_

_The day you slipped away_

_Was the day I found_

_It won't be the same_

_Oh_

_I had my wake up_

_Won't you wake up_

_I keep asking why_

_And I can't take it_

_It wasn't fake_

_It happened you passed by_

_Now you're gone_

_Now you're gone_

_There you go_

_There you go_

_Somewhere I can't bring you back_

_Now you're gone_

_Now you're gone_

_There you go_

_There you go_

_Somewhere you're not coming back_

_The day you slipped away_

_Was the day I found_

_It won't be the same_

_Oh_

_Na Na_

_Na Na Na Na Na_

_I miss you_

By the time Joyce came in with Alexia, Spike was in tears. Joyce gave Alexia to Xander and hugged Spike. "Oh William…I know…it's ok…just let it out." Joyce said as she rubbed his back.

"It isn't fair…she was mine…my wife and they took her away…it's not fair…I don't want to be alone anymore. I want her back Joyce…I need her…I can't live without her." Spike said as she held him.

"William." Joyce said as he looked up. "Buffy loved you so much. And she wanted to have the babies more than anything. I know it hurts and it's hard. But you still have her. In these two children you still have her…you have to take care of your children William." Joyce said as she smiled at him. "Buffy wouldn't have it any other way." Joyce said as she got up and went to get Alexia and Seth. She handed both of the kids to Spike and left the room.

Spike looked down at the two babies looking up at him. "Ello there you two. I'm your dad. That means you have mind me…" Spike said as he looked at Alexia. "You look just like your mum. Speaking of your mum…you two want me to tell you a little bit about her?" Spike said as his eyes filled with tears. "Ok then…your mum was the most beautiful woman in the world…or well at least to me. She never really believed me though. You know your mum was a stubborn little chit." Spike said as he began to tell his two children all about their mother.

* * *

Time had gone by real slow for Spike. It had been 14 years since Buffy's death. And still he couldn't shake all the memories of it. "Dad!" Seth yelled from the living room.

"What?" Spike asked as he walked to the living room.

"Lexi and I are going to Aunt Willow's. We'll see you later." Seth said, as he was getting ready to leave.

"Ok." Spike said as Lexi ran up to him.

"Bye daddy. I'll see you later." Spike smiled and kissed her forehead.

"Bye love. Be good." Lexi nodded and left with her brother. Spike went back in his room and put his seether cd in his cd player. He put on his favorite song and lay on his bed.

_I wanted you to know that I love the way you laugh_

_I wanna hold you tight and steal your pain away_

_I keep your photograph; I know it serves me well_

_I wanna hold you high and steal your pain away_

_Spike listened to the words as they came from the speakers. He reached for Buffy's picture and began to sing to it._

_Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome_

_And I don't feel right when you're gone away_

_You've gone away. You don't feel me anymore_

Spike sat on the edge of the bed as Buffy sat next to him. Spike looked over, "Buffy." She smiled and began to sing.

_The worst is over now an we can breath again_

_I wanna hold you high and steal my pain away_

_There's so much left to learn and no one left to fight_

_I wanna hold you high and steal your pain_

_Spike smiled and began to sing with her._

_Cause I'm broken when I'm open_

_And I don't feel like I am strong enough_

_Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome_

_And I don't feel right when you're gone away_

Spike stopped singing and stared at her beautiful hazel eyes.

_You've gone away; you don't feel me here anymore._

The cd clicked off and Buffy smiled at Spike. "Hello Lover." Buffy said. Spike smiled back at her "God pet. I've missed you so much." Spike said with tears in his eyes. "I know that's why I'm here, to see you. Spike I know these past 14 years have pretty much sucked. And I'm not saying the next will be any better. I hate that we were only together for 8 years. That makes me so mad sometimes. But I still love you. And one day we'll be together again." Buffy said as she kissed him on the forehead. "No Buffy please don't leave." Spike said as he jumped up. "I never will Spike." Buffy said as she stared at the picture of the twins. "I'm always here, in them. I love you Spike." She said as she turned to him. "Goodbye my William." She said as she disappeared. "Goodbye Buffy." Spike said.

"Dad! Wake up. We're leaving." Seth said as he shook his dad awake. Spike looked around and realized it'd been a dream. But he ha finally gotten his goodbye and there was all that mattered to him.

* * *

A/N: I hope you liked that. I worked so hard on it. I had a dream about me and my boyfriend and my friends. And this was it. I decided that I could write a story about it and make it spuffy and I guess I succeeded. I got two awards for it and best work in progress from my friend's site. I hope you enjoyed it. And I'm sorry it wasn't the happy ending you expected.- 


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